I Really Have No Control

I often feel guilty when I encounter someone who has breast cancer at a later stage than me. Its a feeling of "what right do you have to call this a crisis in your life at stage 1 grade 3 when so and so is at Stage 3." It's not that I feel bad about having had cancer it's that I feel good about my out comes. It's that it could have been so much worst, but it wasn't, and it makes me feel grateful and happy while others are fighting not to die. We are doing similar treatments, but for different reasons, mine are preventative and theirs are necessity to kill the cancer they still have. I know I have no control over any of that. I do know that I need to find a way to help others and intend to do so however I can!! <3

I Refuse To Buy Into Negativity

A lot of time has passed since my last post. I’ve had a lot to deal with. It was interesting to find out that if I hadnt had a mastectomy, they wouldn't have known about the invasive cancer they found in addition to the DCIS. So I basically saved my own life with my decision. Its scary that it was hidden in the breast tissue and not detectible on the mammo or the MRI. I have one test I’m waiting for to see if I need chemo or not. I should know that in a week or so. I believe a positive attitude keeps a positive flow in your life. I think about how things are evolving in a postive direction everyday. It seems like every step of the way, whatever news I receive, it always ends up being the best possible scenerio. Some people see the bad news in everything. I feel that I’m getting good news everytime the doctor tells me something new. However, there are others in my family who see each obstacle as negative. I have to ignore them and go with what I feel is right for me. I refuse to buy into their negativity. Overall I feel that this disease has been a blessing in my life. It’s one of the greatest learning experiences I’ve ever had. I appreciate everything and everyone I see and I’ve learned to live my life now instead of waiting for someday when everything is perfect. There are so many more good things than bad to be grateful for. There have been ups and downs along the way, but I refuse to give into fear. I am on a journey of wellness, not disease. I have the power in my life to choose. I have have the power to love. I have the power to hope. I have power over this disease called cancer.